Lin Xulian cannot believe that the man holding her down right now is the same Feng Jun Yi she knew and married for more than four years. The usual stoic but warm man who spoils her and gives her everything she needed, now looks like a mad man devouring her whole. There is no trace of the man she liked and slowly learning to love.
"Feng Jun Yi, stop it! This is not the usual you! Snap out of it and listen to me! Feng Jun Yi!" Lin Xulian tried to stop and reason out with him. But Feng Jun Yi acted like he didn't hear her and continued his aggressive move. Although it is true that this method is the easiest way to prove her innocence, Lin Xulian isn't willing to lose her chastity this way. Not for this kind of reason.
Feng Jun Yi cannot understand himself either. He knows that what he's doing is not right. And it may affect the empire. But he just can't stop himself. 'SHE IS MY WIFE. SHE IS MINE. I'LL TAKE HER EVEN BY FORCE!' These words keep replaying in his mind and is muddling his rationality.
Lin Xulian made up her mind. She didn't want to hurt Feng Jun Yi, but he is clearly out of his mind right now. She condensed her internal energy and released it like a shock wave since she can't use her palm because Feng Jun Yi is holding them firmly. Lin Xulian's internal energy hit Feng Jun Yi like a giant hammer making him fly across the room.
Feng Jun Yi hit the wall then he tasted a lump of sweet metallic blood in his throat. He wasn't able to swallow it back in time so it trickled down from the corner of his mouth down to his neck. Lin Xulian's attack made his internal energy chaotic that finally cleared his mind. But his anger didn't diminish even a little. In fact, it rose extremely.
Lin Xulian grabbed the sheets to cover her exposed skin. Seeing Feng Jun Yi's bloody appearance, she got a bit guilty but steeled herself. "Are you awake now? What got into you?! Even if I want to prove my innocence, this method is not right. I will find another way to prove that I am still pure and certainly not pregnant!"
Feng Jun Yi slowly stood up and steadied himself. "In what way? By getting rid of the child then taking some god knows what medicine to restore your chastity? I'm sure you are capable to do that, am I right?!" Feng Jun Yi said while giving her a cold piercing glare.
Hearing his remarks, Lin Xulian's eyes widened in disbelief. "Feng Jun Yi, what are you saying? Do you think I'm capable of killing an innocent child? Although I am really not pregnant, but to think you believe that I could do such horrible thing, what kind of person do you think I am? We've been together for more than four years. You know me better unlike anyone else!"
Feng Jun Yi didn't even have a slight change in his expression. As if saying that what Lin Xulian said is actually the truth. "I thought I knew you that well too. But this betrayal proves otherwise." Then Feng Jun Yi turned around to leave.
"Feng Jun Yi!" Lin Xulian called out to him. He stopped but didn't turn around. "Why can't you believe me? Why can't you trust me just like how you always trusted me before? You said you like me as a woman, right? That you want to spend the rest of our lives together. Build a family together? Yet this obvious scheme made your faith in me falter that easily? Why?"
Feng Jun Yi replied with just two words. But these words is like a huge hand crushing Lin Xulian's heart. "W-what do you mean?"
Feng Jun Yi clenched his fists under his robes and continued. "I need an heir to the throne. And you are nothing but a suitable vessel. I did all of those things so you will be willing to bear my child."
Lin Xulian couldn't believe what she heard and thought about the times when Feng Jun Yi is expressing his affection towards her. 'So those words were lies? Everything he did is an act? Even those warm and gentle looks and smiles?'. "Then what about those times when you spoiled me and gave me everything that I needed and wanted?"
"Don't get the wrong idea Lin Xulian. It was all because you saved my life. I am the emperor, and my life is equivalent to the life of my entire empire. Giving you that much as a payment is to be expected." Feng Jun Yi said without facing her. He then left without turning back leaving Lin Xulian alone and tattered inside the room. He didn't get the chance to witness a rare sight. The sight of Lin Xulian's uncontrollable but silent tears.
On the other hand, while Feng Jun Yi is leaving the Phoenix Palace, his mind in conflicted. He knows that what he said earlier was a lie. He loves her very much. But the pain of betrayal is waking his self-protective instinct. The same instinct he had when his mother died and everyone in the palace is his enemy.
'She betrayed me. Which made her my enemy. And my enemies shouldn't know my weakness. And certainly, she can't become my weakness. I am the emperor and I am not capable to love anyone. I can't love her. I can't love at all.'
When Xu Yichen, who was worriedly waiting outside the palace, saw Feng Jun Yi, he stiffened after noticing his eyes. It was dead. Devoid of any emotions. The same eyes he had when he still sees the entire palace as his enemy.