134 Chapter 134 Fleeting Feeling
Inside her allocated room in the eldest prince's manor, Lin Xulian is absentmindedly looking outside her window. She is thinking about Xing Guang's warnings and conditions before going to the Qiangdu country, specifically in the Gu clan's village. According to him she needs to go alone. Which means she needs to ask her big brother Rui to stay behind or just return to An valley with the other members of the Lin clan.
Lin Xulian doesn't know how to tell her brother to convince him. And she also knows that it would be hard since she will be going to an unknown territory. Knowing how overprotective her brothers are, she would surely need a lot of explanation to give. She could only sigh in exhaustion.
This is the scene that greeted Xing Tanxing when she came at Lin Xulian's chamber for a visit. After Lin Xulian and her brother had their private talk, Xing Tanxing wasn't able to check on her because Lin Xulian was too exhausted after her treatment. "Lian— I mean, your majesty. Are you feeling fine? Does your body still feel unwell?"
"You don't have to be too polite your highness. I am no longer an empress since the empress is already dead. I am just a simple civilian without a name. I am not even a noble at least. You can just call me Lian as I introduced myself earlier." Lin Xulian insisted. "And yes, I am feeling much better thanks to the eldest prince."
Hearing her response, Xing Tanxing subconsciously peeked at Lin Xulian's belly. "It is really small now. Almost unnoticeable. To think that you weren't actually pregnant but convincingly so, I cannot imagine how terrifyingly strong that Baihe's witchcraft have become. But why didn't you tell me at first? You even made me believe that you are really pregnant."
"It's hard to explain my situation at that time since I am not even aware what had happened to me." Lin Xulian explained.
"So, what's your plan now that you know your enemy?"
Lin Xulian heaved a heavy sigh. "That's what I'm worrying about right now. The eldest prince told me that I have to continue my journey alone. And I don't know how to tell my big brother about it."
"Why? Does it have anything to do with eldest brother's mother?" Lin Xulian only nod in response. "There's no helping it then. Eldest brother won't even tell me about her."
The two of them are engulfed with silence for a moment until Xing Tanxing finally gathered enough courage. "Lian, since you are not really pregnant and you already know the reason, are you going to return to your husband?"
Lin Xulian cannot hide her sadness hearing her question. "Although I finally learned who my enemy is and what they did to me, I already killed my persona as the empress. It is something I cannot take back anymore."
"But what about your husband? Don't you think it's unfair for him? You were both played by those siblings."
Thinking about how Feng Jun Yi told her that he doesn't really love her and that he only wants her to carry his child, Lin Xulian wanted to tell herself that maybe he was controlled. That he doesn't mean what he said. But she cannot fool herself. Those cold treatments felt real and even his reasons for his act are rational. "Our relationship isn't romantic anyway so it does not really matter. We haven't even consummated our marriage for five years. Once I'm fully cured, I'll help him save his empire but that will end everything between us. We just have the same enemy, that's all."
"What?! Is he a monk in disguise? What kind of man can keep his hands off of a beauty like you?!" Xing Tanxing exclaimed in surprise.
"You are thinking too highly of me. He just doesn't love me, that's all."
"But you do, right?" Feeling her sadness, Xing Tanxing didn't probe further. She actually wants to ask Lin Xulian about her opinion about Rui, but decided against it. Thinking about it deeply, she has no right to ask anything. 'Forget it. It's just a fleeting feeling. It won't take long; I'll forget about him.' She thought.
Lin Xulian and Xing Tanxing talked about random things for a bit before Xing Tanxing decided to leave. Lin Xulian still needs more time to recuperate and gain back the internal energy she lost because of the Gu inside her. Right when she exited the room, Rui coincidentally arrived to visit Lin Xulian. Her heart skipped a beat for a moment but she tried to control her reaction since she already decided to let go of her budding feelings.
"Young master Rui, are here to visit Lian?" Xing Tanxing asked.
"Yes. Is she awake now?"
"Yes, she is." Rui was about to continue and enter Lin Xulian's chambers but Xing Tanxing stopped him. "Young master Rui, are you going to enter her private chambers?"
"Of course. Why? Am I not allowed?" Rui asked in confusion.
"As her brother, you are. But there are differences between men and women. If you want her to look at you as a man, then you should make her feel it. If you continue treating her without malice like a normal brother, then she will only see you as her brother. But it is still up to you if you want to take my advice." Xing Tanxing enthusiastically said then she bowed and left.
But right after she turned her back, she gave herself a mocking smile. 'Tanxing you already lost without even giving a fight.'
Rui on the other hand followed her retreating back with his sight and ponder about what she said. Then he turned his head towards the closed door of Lin Xulian's chamber. 'It actually make sense. I still have a lot of time at hand. I'll do everything to make you forget about him Lian'er.'