185 Chapter 185 Won“t Regre
When the banquet is almost over, Lin Huang hinted Lin Xulian to follow him out. Lin Xulian can only sigh and comply. Although her parent didn't pursue the matter about her fake death, her brother is another story. She knows he would dig deeper and ask her personally. After all he was with her in the Gonglu capital at almost the entire five years of her marriage.Meanwhile, Lin Yihan noticed the siblings leaving the hall so he quietly followed them out. Luckily for him, the King already retired while his cousin already passed out from drunkenness. He knows that this is his chance to know about Lin Xulian and Feng Jun Yi's relationship.Lin Huang brought Lin Xulian towards the pavilion. He also brought a bottle of sweet fruit wine with low alcoholic properties since he knew Lin Xulian doesn't like the taste of strong wine. Not far from them, Lin Yihan hid behind a tree intending to eavesdrop."On Gu Rin's last message, he said that Feng Jun Yi was poisoned and is still unconscious up to this day. Which baffled me because I remembered that you made him enough medicine to counter any poison that could last for at least five years. Unless something happened that made him reluctant to use them. He even buried them with that servant you killed." Lin Huang started nonchalantly.On the other hand, Lin Xulian's heart trembled after hearing that Feng Jun Yi encountered another poisoning. But can't let her brother know her real emotion so she acted angry. "What?! He buried them?! That medicine cost a lot! If he doesn't want them, he should've given them to Xiao Tian. At least I could earn a few thousand gold taels." Lin Xulian ranted with knitted brows and upset tone.Lin Huang knew that Lin Xulian love money, so her response is within his expectations. "Feng Jun Yi also already knew that the Gu poison was responsible for your false pregnancy. I assume that you were the one who informed him? Although he thought I was the one who sent that letter since he gave me a reply soon after. Which means that your misunderstanding was already cleared up. Then after your revenge, are you going to return to his side?"For a moment, Lin Xulian's mind turn blank. If she was asked a year before, she would say no without wasting a breath. But now, she can't help but think twice. It is true that the misunderstanding between her and Feng Jun Yi was already solved. If she wants, she can return to his side and continue those peaceful times. But is it enough?While trying to decide, Lin Xulian remembered Feng Jun Yi's heartbreaking words. 'I lied. I need an heir to the throne. And you are nothing but a suitable vessel. I did all of those things so you will be willing to bear my child.' Lin Xulian felt the familiar pain and smiled sadly. How can she forget the real reason while she left? It was because she learned that he didn't love her at all. Even if he was influenced by Gu poison, the caster especially someone as weak as Xing Baihe, cannot influence his or her victim's words. What he said at that time was his hidden thoughts."I have no plan to return. I said before, I just want to experience the life in the palace. I had fun, but I'm done playing. It's time for me to follow mother's path. That's my biggest dream after all. And empress Lin is dead. A dead person can't go back to life." Lin Xulian sincerely answered. She didn't lie because ever since she was young, she already claimed that her greatest dream is to roam around the world and be a renowned doctor. As for her fake death, it is her best excuse not to return."Honestly, I am happy with your decision. I never liked that weak emperor for you. But will this decision make you happy? All of us can tell that you were fond of him. Won't you regret it?" Lin Huang asked in concern. Although he doesn't like Feng Jun Yi, who always needed his sister to save him, if Lin Xulian choose him he would compromise as long as she's happy.Lin Xulian grabbed the wine bottle from her brother's hand then poured both of them a cup each. She then drank her portion in one swig before looking at the distant moon. "I already wasted five years of my life with him. Also, I wanted true love just like mother and father or like yours and Mei jiejie. Feng Jun Yi can't give me that." Lin Xulian spoke the last sentence solemnly without trying to hide her pain.Lin Huang understood instantly. Lin Xulian was with Feng Jun Yi inside the palace. If he Feng Jun Yi loved Lin Xulian, she would know. If he doesn't, Lin Xulian can tell. And he is wise enough to not meddle in their relationship. But still, it pisses him off to think that someone like him couldn't see how great his sister is. "It's his loss for being blind." He said with a snort.Lin Xulian decided not to respond further. That way, her brother will not pry deeper about what had happened to her and Feng Jun Yi. She knows that once her brother learns how Feng Jun Yi tried to hurt and humiliate her, despite the fact that he was only influenced by the Gu poison, he would not let him off unscathed.And she doesn't want that. He caused her emotional pain, but despite all the tears she can't hate and blame him. Love can't be forced after all. As for the fact that he tried to deceive her by showing false affection, Lin Xulian decided to let it go. She didn't lose anything anyway since he even spoiled and pampered her. Providing her with everything she wanted. They both benefited from each other.******
Walking back to his own courtyard, Lin Yihan sighed for the nth time. After listening to Lin Xulian and Lin Huang's conversation, he got the main point. Lin Xulian chose to fake her death instead of seeking the cure with Feng Jun Yi's help was due to a deep misunderstanding. As for Lin Xulian's claim that Feng Jun Yi doesn't love her, Lin Yihan can't refute. Not because he believed it completely, but because he really had no idea about Feng Jun Yi's feelings towards his niece.When Lin Yihan left the Gonglu country after Feng Jun Yi assumed the throne as the emperor, he never saw him having interest in any woman. Even towards the concubines that was forced to him, he remained indifferent. So with regards to his treatment towards Lin Xulian according to his investigation, he can't tell if it was due to love or another reason.He heard that Feng Jun Yi provided Lin Xulian all the medicinal herbs she wanted. But most of the medicine she made was for Feng Jun Yi's use and the sixth prince's cure. He also learned that Feng Jun Yi let Lin Xulian do whatever she wanted, no matter it was right or wrong. But her actions caused all of Feng Jun Yi's enemies to relent and even die.Feng Jun Yi also built a hospital for her because she asked for it. But it also elevated the citizen's favorable views towards their emperor. After viewing things in bigger picture, the two of them doesn't really represent a loving couple but more like a team. Their union was more like a mutual benefit agreement."Looks like I still need to continue observing. Yi'er, whether you love her or not, I hope you won't regret it. Our one great love will only happen once. I hope you realize it before it's too late. I don't want you to miss out on it like the way I did." Lin Yihan lowly muttered while looking at a distance.